Interview with a made-up character - NO it's not as insane as it sounds (IT'S EVEN WORSE, RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN)
Hey there, guys! Today I've got a very special post for you: I'm going to be interviewing one of my characters! Yep, I'm going to interview -
*purple-eyed, red-headed girl of about eighteen, wearing extremely colourful clothes and a very wide white hat with a purple feather, stalks in* Hey, what's up.
Me: Hey - wait, what?! What are you doing here, Trinity?
Trinity: Well, duh. I'm here for the interview, of course.
Me: What - no - you're not meant to be here! I'm meant to be interviewing Harley, the main character in the novella I intend to start writing soon!
Trinity: You mean, the one you're too lazy to start writing?
Me: Shut up. But yes, that's the one. Why isn't she here?
Trinity: Couldn't make it, so I came instead. She's probably in a corner somewhere, contemplating how terrible her story is and how bad a character she is.
Me: You do realise that if you insult my ability to create characters, the joke's on you, right?
Trinity: Look, what's the problem with interviewing me, instead?
Me: What's the problem? What isn't the problem? That you're you, for one. I don't trust you around my readers.
Trinity: Why not? I feel hurt, you know.
Me: For starters, you're a con artist with absolutely no morals. Also you're dirty-minded as heck. My followers are Pure, Innocent Creatures of the Light, okay? I don't want you poisoning their minds.
Trinity: And you're not?
Me: Excuse me?
Trinity: Who's the most dirty-minded, the dirty-minded character or the writer who created her?
Me: *stares* I don't like you.
Trinity: You created me.
Me: And I just realised that I created someone I don't like. That's hard to get around.
Trinity: Look, just be thankful that I'm the one who showed up instead of Harley, and not one of your darker characters.
Me: You are one of my darker characters. They don't get much darker than you.
Trinity: Are you sure about that? What would have happened if the one who'd shown up had been, oh, I don't know... Irina?
Me: *goes pale* Oh... oh my heck. That would have been a disaster. That... that is one character of mine I hope to NEVER meet. EVER.
Trinity: *gleefully* She would have destroyed you.
Me: Why do you sound so pleased about it?
Trinity: Also, think what your Pure, Innocent Creatures of the Light would think if they knew stuff like that came out of your imagination.
Me: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO CONTEMPLATE IT. Okay, okay, so you made your point. You're not really that bad. We're good, then?
Trinity: Actually, no. I'm mad at you. Over the fact that YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRITE MY STORY.
Me: *groans* We've been through this, Trinity. I made you as a character, I thought up your backstory in a lot of detail, but I have no idea what story to put you in. But I WILL, at some point, okay? In the future. Just be patient, child. Jeez.
Trinity: Child? I'm like three times your age.
Me: But you're from a different species, so you age at a different rate. You might be forty but you're the equivalent of an eighteen-year-old.
Trinity: I'm thirty-seven if you don't mind. I just can't believe you'd abandon me like this. After that night we spent together!
Me: That... that sounds so wrong, Trinity, on so many levels.
Trinity: But surely you haven't forgotten that night when you couldn't sleep, and you spent half the night thinking up my backstory, as well as scenes with me in them?
Me: No, I haven't. Look, I haven't abandoned you, okay? I've just... put you to the back of my mind. I'll use you in a story in the future. I promise.
Trinity: You'd better. Or I'll make you sorry.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Trinity: There are perks to living inside your head. I know everything about you. I see everything that goes on inside that messed-up little mind of yours. EVERYTHING. And let's just say that I've seen a few things in there that I'm pretty certain you don't want anyone else to know about.
Me: *stares* Are you blackmailing me?
Trinity: *casually examines fingernails* Maybe I am.
Me: Oh-h-h, you're playing with fire here girl. See, you might know all my dark little secrets, but don't forget I know all of yours, too. I created you, after all. You tell anyone any of my secrets, I'll tell everyone the reason why you always wear that ridiculous hat.
Trinity: *goes slightly pale* *whispers* Oh, you wouldn't dare.
Me: I would totally dare. What do you think people would think if they knew that tough, ruthless, cold-as-ice Trinity has a tragic past? That you wear that hat for sentimental reasons?
Trinity: Shut up, right NOW.
Me: *coolly* There's a logical solution to this. You promise to never tell anyone my secrets, and I'll promise to never tell anyone yours.
Trinity: *crossly* Fine. I promise.
Me: I promise too. *clears throat* Anyway, let's change the subject. Since you're here, why don't you tell my readers a little bit about yourself and the world you live in?
Trinity: Well, I come from a planet that has no name, thanks to someone. *glares evilly*
Me: It's not my fault I suck at coming up with names, okay? Just be thankful YOU have a name.
Trinity: Whatever. The planet I come from is super-peaceful and everyone who lives there is so annoyingly nice. We look like humans, but our eyes are much brighter, and they're either red, pink, purple, blue or green. Also, we age at half the rate a human does - so we're adolescents until we're about thirty-five, middle-aged from eighty onwards, and anyone older than 140 is considered old. On average, we live to about 200.
Me: You're also much more peaceful and good-natured than humans. You and your family just happen to be the exception.
Trinity: *proudly* I come from a very old family - I can trace my ancestry back centuries - and we've always been swindlers, con artists, thieves; just criminals in general.
Me: I just love how proud you are of that.
Trinity: Of course you do, you're the one who created that part of my personality.
Me: True.
Trinity: Though you couldn't deign to give my family an actual name. *glares*
Me: Oh, give me strength. I'm not going through this with you again.
Trinity: My parents died when I was just a child, and since then I've made it my life's work to continue the family trade.
Me: i.e. conning people out of their money.
Trinity: Half the people I con stole the money in the first place, okay? They completely deserve it.
Me: Also, you completely enjoy stealing from people.
Trinity: Exactly. I don't do it for the money, you know. I do it for the thrill, the knowledge that I can outsmart the smartest people out there. *looks proud* I'm also very good at avoiding being caught; I've been the most wanted criminal in the Galactic Alliance for years and nobody's managed to catch me yet.
Me: You've had some pretty close calls, though.
Trinity: Yeah, when I was still learning. These days, no-one knows where I am.
Me: Don't you get lonely, though? Wandering through space, working on your dodgy schemes, doing everything alone. Don't you miss being with other people?
Trinity: *shrugs* I'm an outcast on my planet. No-one wants to have anything to do with a member of my family. But I have a few allies on some other planets. Though I mostly prefer to work alone. Other people just end up betraying you.
Me: Or they die.
Trinity: *suddenly going red* Don't you DARE bring that up. I WOULD KILL YOU! I MEAN IT!
Me: *backing away* Okay, okay, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. *checks watch* It's getting kinda late, this has been fun and all, but don't you have somewhere to be?
Trinity: Yeah, I should probably get going.
Me: Umm, sooo.... bye??
Trinity: See ya. *leaves*
Me: Phew! That was one intense interview. Hope you enjoyed this??
Anyway, that's it from -
Trinity: *sticks head around the door* Don't forget to mention the poll!
Me: What poll - oh! Yeah, I put a poll on my sidebar, I'd really appreciate it if you could all vote on it!
Trinity: You'd forgotten about it, hadn't you, you featherbrain.
Me: Weren't you leaving?!
Trinity: Yeah, yeah. Bye.
Me: ANYWAY. Yep, please vote on my poll. And I hope you enjoyed this crazy interview with a made-up character!
'Till next time,
-Indigo
*purple-eyed, red-headed girl of about eighteen, wearing extremely colourful clothes and a very wide white hat with a purple feather, stalks in* Hey, what's up.
Me: Hey - wait, what?! What are you doing here, Trinity?
Trinity: Well, duh. I'm here for the interview, of course.
Me: What - no - you're not meant to be here! I'm meant to be interviewing Harley, the main character in the novella I intend to start writing soon!
Trinity: You mean, the one you're too lazy to start writing?
Me: Shut up. But yes, that's the one. Why isn't she here?
Trinity: Couldn't make it, so I came instead. She's probably in a corner somewhere, contemplating how terrible her story is and how bad a character she is.
Me: You do realise that if you insult my ability to create characters, the joke's on you, right?
Trinity: Look, what's the problem with interviewing me, instead?
Me: What's the problem? What isn't the problem? That you're you, for one. I don't trust you around my readers.
Trinity: Why not? I feel hurt, you know.
Me: For starters, you're a con artist with absolutely no morals. Also you're dirty-minded as heck. My followers are Pure, Innocent Creatures of the Light, okay? I don't want you poisoning their minds.
Trinity: And you're not?
Me: Excuse me?
Trinity: Who's the most dirty-minded, the dirty-minded character or the writer who created her?
Me: *stares* I don't like you.
Trinity: You created me.
Me: And I just realised that I created someone I don't like. That's hard to get around.
Trinity: Look, just be thankful that I'm the one who showed up instead of Harley, and not one of your darker characters.
Me: You are one of my darker characters. They don't get much darker than you.
Trinity: Are you sure about that? What would have happened if the one who'd shown up had been, oh, I don't know... Irina?
Me: *goes pale* Oh... oh my heck. That would have been a disaster. That... that is one character of mine I hope to NEVER meet. EVER.
Trinity: *gleefully* She would have destroyed you.
Me: Why do you sound so pleased about it?
Trinity: Also, think what your Pure, Innocent Creatures of the Light would think if they knew stuff like that came out of your imagination.
Me: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO CONTEMPLATE IT. Okay, okay, so you made your point. You're not really that bad. We're good, then?
Trinity: Actually, no. I'm mad at you. Over the fact that YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRITE MY STORY.
Me: *groans* We've been through this, Trinity. I made you as a character, I thought up your backstory in a lot of detail, but I have no idea what story to put you in. But I WILL, at some point, okay? In the future. Just be patient, child. Jeez.
Trinity: Child? I'm like three times your age.
Me: But you're from a different species, so you age at a different rate. You might be forty but you're the equivalent of an eighteen-year-old.
Trinity: I'm thirty-seven if you don't mind. I just can't believe you'd abandon me like this. After that night we spent together!
Me: That... that sounds so wrong, Trinity, on so many levels.
Trinity: But surely you haven't forgotten that night when you couldn't sleep, and you spent half the night thinking up my backstory, as well as scenes with me in them?
Me: No, I haven't. Look, I haven't abandoned you, okay? I've just... put you to the back of my mind. I'll use you in a story in the future. I promise.
Trinity: You'd better. Or I'll make you sorry.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Trinity: There are perks to living inside your head. I know everything about you. I see everything that goes on inside that messed-up little mind of yours. EVERYTHING. And let's just say that I've seen a few things in there that I'm pretty certain you don't want anyone else to know about.
Me: *stares* Are you blackmailing me?
Trinity: *casually examines fingernails* Maybe I am.
Me: Oh-h-h, you're playing with fire here girl. See, you might know all my dark little secrets, but don't forget I know all of yours, too. I created you, after all. You tell anyone any of my secrets, I'll tell everyone the reason why you always wear that ridiculous hat.
Trinity: *goes slightly pale* *whispers* Oh, you wouldn't dare.
Me: I would totally dare. What do you think people would think if they knew that tough, ruthless, cold-as-ice Trinity has a tragic past? That you wear that hat for sentimental reasons?
Trinity: Shut up, right NOW.
Me: *coolly* There's a logical solution to this. You promise to never tell anyone my secrets, and I'll promise to never tell anyone yours.
Trinity: *crossly* Fine. I promise.
Me: I promise too. *clears throat* Anyway, let's change the subject. Since you're here, why don't you tell my readers a little bit about yourself and the world you live in?
Trinity: Well, I come from a planet that has no name, thanks to someone. *glares evilly*
Me: It's not my fault I suck at coming up with names, okay? Just be thankful YOU have a name.
Trinity: Whatever. The planet I come from is super-peaceful and everyone who lives there is so annoyingly nice. We look like humans, but our eyes are much brighter, and they're either red, pink, purple, blue or green. Also, we age at half the rate a human does - so we're adolescents until we're about thirty-five, middle-aged from eighty onwards, and anyone older than 140 is considered old. On average, we live to about 200.
Me: You're also much more peaceful and good-natured than humans. You and your family just happen to be the exception.
Trinity: *proudly* I come from a very old family - I can trace my ancestry back centuries - and we've always been swindlers, con artists, thieves; just criminals in general.
Me: I just love how proud you are of that.
Trinity: Of course you do, you're the one who created that part of my personality.
Me: True.
Trinity: Though you couldn't deign to give my family an actual name. *glares*
Me: Oh, give me strength. I'm not going through this with you again.
Trinity: My parents died when I was just a child, and since then I've made it my life's work to continue the family trade.
Me: i.e. conning people out of their money.
Trinity: Half the people I con stole the money in the first place, okay? They completely deserve it.
Me: Also, you completely enjoy stealing from people.
Trinity: Exactly. I don't do it for the money, you know. I do it for the thrill, the knowledge that I can outsmart the smartest people out there. *looks proud* I'm also very good at avoiding being caught; I've been the most wanted criminal in the Galactic Alliance for years and nobody's managed to catch me yet.
Me: You've had some pretty close calls, though.
Trinity: Yeah, when I was still learning. These days, no-one knows where I am.
Me: Don't you get lonely, though? Wandering through space, working on your dodgy schemes, doing everything alone. Don't you miss being with other people?
Trinity: *shrugs* I'm an outcast on my planet. No-one wants to have anything to do with a member of my family. But I have a few allies on some other planets. Though I mostly prefer to work alone. Other people just end up betraying you.
Me: Or they die.
Trinity: *suddenly going red* Don't you DARE bring that up. I WOULD KILL YOU! I MEAN IT!
Me: *backing away* Okay, okay, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. *checks watch* It's getting kinda late, this has been fun and all, but don't you have somewhere to be?
Trinity: Yeah, I should probably get going.
Me: Umm, sooo.... bye??
Trinity: See ya. *leaves*
Me: Phew! That was one intense interview. Hope you enjoyed this??
Anyway, that's it from -
Trinity: *sticks head around the door* Don't forget to mention the poll!
Me: What poll - oh! Yeah, I put a poll on my sidebar, I'd really appreciate it if you could all vote on it!
Trinity: You'd forgotten about it, hadn't you, you featherbrain.
Me: Weren't you leaving?!
Trinity: Yeah, yeah. Bye.
Me: ANYWAY. Yep, please vote on my poll. And I hope you enjoyed this crazy interview with a made-up character!
'Till next time,
-Indigo
Haha! This was great xD It's funny how characters have a mind of their own and you almost don't remember planning for them to say something xP
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed this :) Yeah, characters seem to like doing exactly what they want, it's like they have their own thoughts and voices XD
DeleteLoved this! XD It made my day. Trinity sounds like a pretty cool character. ;-D
ReplyDeleteI voted!!! XD
I'm so, so glad it did!!
DeleteThank you so much! :D
I love Trinity's sarcasm! XD
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I like your short stories but this was next-level! Trinity feels like a key character that could be in a series of novels - I could imagine what she looked like straight away. Looking forward to you being published...
ReplyDeleteOmg thank you so much!! That means a lot to me :)
DeleteThis was Awesome! I loved it! (Say Hi to Trinity for me :D) (Also, I voted! :D)
ReplyDeleteNow I wanna do something like this!!
Thanks!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
DeleteI will, but it might be a while until I next see her, she's always busy with something or other. XD
You totally should! :D
This was great. XD
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :)
DeleteNice interview!
ReplyDelete--Bryce Laser
bryceswritingcorner.blogspot.com (Please follow: Current Follows - 1)
Thanks! :D
DeleteOkay but like seriously, Trinity is the epitome of cool with a dash of sass. I imagine her tale to be like some sort of intergalactic epic where she leads a coalition of vigilante thieves or pirates to fight for a good cause or seek some sort of mystical force or something. Whatever her story ends up being, I'm sure it'll be amazing! I'm curious about that hat too...
ReplyDeleteAlso, these interviews make for an amusing read :D Now who's this Irina that Trinity mentioned?
Omg thank you so much!! I'm so glad you think Trinity is cool XD I haven't really managed to come up with a good story for her to be in, but I always thought it could be something along the lines that she ends up having to team up with this really law-abiding person to save the galaxy or something... Idk XD
DeleteIrina? Hahaha *laughs nervously* She's — she's no-one! *Sweats*
XD Nice interview! I think you handled it quite well... for interviewing the Most Wanted Criminal in the Galactic Alliance. I love your blog by the way :D
ReplyDeleteHey there! Lol, yeah it wasn't easy, but I did it! XD
DeleteThank you! And thanks for commenting! :)