"You Can't Change The Past": A short story
You can't change the past.
It's the only thought in my mind as I sit alone in my room. It spins around and around in my head, obliterating every single other thought. You can't change the past. You can't change the past.
I wish I could, though. I wish it with all my might. I wish I could step through a portal and appear, say, a year into my past. I could grab hold of myself at that time and explain what would happen, and how easily I could avoid so much grief and heartache. Just a decision. Just by making a single decision differently my life could change completely.
I laugh bitterly. That sort of thing only happens in sci-fi movies. In real life we're forced to live with the consequences of our actions. No time travel. No easy way out.
I've made so many mistakes. So many. I didn't know they were mistakes at the time - I thought I was doing the right thing, always. But I see now how terribly misguided I was. If only I'd had someone to make me see, make me understand. But I was completely alone.
And then there'd been that decision, the big one, the one where I'd stood in front of two life paths, stared my future in the eye. And I could have chosen the path filled with joy and peace and security but I didn't, I picked the one fraught with danger, the one that ended at a cliff face, and I'd jumped willingly from that cliff hoping someone would be there to catch me before I hit the bottom, only there wasn't and instead I crashed into a rock pool of despair.
I lie back on my bed. Maybe I'm insane. I feel insane. I've felt like that since the decision. Eaten up by regret and self-loathing until my mind gives way.
You can't change the past.
But hell, I wish I could.
-IndigoSky
It's the only thought in my mind as I sit alone in my room. It spins around and around in my head, obliterating every single other thought. You can't change the past. You can't change the past.
I wish I could, though. I wish it with all my might. I wish I could step through a portal and appear, say, a year into my past. I could grab hold of myself at that time and explain what would happen, and how easily I could avoid so much grief and heartache. Just a decision. Just by making a single decision differently my life could change completely.
I laugh bitterly. That sort of thing only happens in sci-fi movies. In real life we're forced to live with the consequences of our actions. No time travel. No easy way out.
I've made so many mistakes. So many. I didn't know they were mistakes at the time - I thought I was doing the right thing, always. But I see now how terribly misguided I was. If only I'd had someone to make me see, make me understand. But I was completely alone.
And then there'd been that decision, the big one, the one where I'd stood in front of two life paths, stared my future in the eye. And I could have chosen the path filled with joy and peace and security but I didn't, I picked the one fraught with danger, the one that ended at a cliff face, and I'd jumped willingly from that cliff hoping someone would be there to catch me before I hit the bottom, only there wasn't and instead I crashed into a rock pool of despair.
I lie back on my bed. Maybe I'm insane. I feel insane. I've felt like that since the decision. Eaten up by regret and self-loathing until my mind gives way.
You can't change the past.
But hell, I wish I could.
-IndigoSky
no. nO. No. NO. NNNNOOOOOO! Why would you do this! I need to know why she wishes she could change the past! In your last story I need to know what happened! AOUUHIUIGIO! Other than the small pesky fact that I need to know more, I LOVED these stories!
ReplyDeleteOh... I suppose I should introduce myself! I'm Dani Jones (though my name thingy says Kitty D, I'm Dani Jones). Im a reader, writer, and blogger as well. I just now discovered your blog and I LOVE it! I would love for you to check out my blog! It's called The Dani Jones Blog!
-Dani Jones
http://thedanijonesblog.blogspot.com/
Omg thank you so much for your comment!! It makes me so happy that you enjoyed reading my stories! You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Hahaha I've recently gotten into writing stories like this, where I deliberately don't explain things properly - the reader is free to make their own assumptions, and I'm the only one who knows what's really going on, it's fun XD
DeleteThank you again for commenting, and I'll definitely check out your blog!
IndigoSky
UM SO I JUST CAME HERE FROM THE SURVEY BECAUSE I WASN'T SURE IF I HAVE EVEN READ ANY OF YOUR WRITINGS (i'm new heeere okaayyy? gimme a breeaaak) (<<that was in a super whiny voice in case you were wondering)
ReplyDeleteAND BASICALLY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE AMAZINGNESS OF IT WOW I AM IN AWE YOU GO GIRL!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT!! This honestly made my day! I'm so glad you liked it! :D
DeleteLol, it's okay that you're new, hope to see you around here again! :)