solitude.

 The other day, I felt alive.

It was evening. The sun was setting in a gentle splendour, the sky turning a soft, dusky orange over the fruit trees in my garden. It was chilly but not uncomfortably cold, the breeze tickling rather than biting my cheeks; I wrapped myself up in a coat nonetheless, relishing the warmth of the material against my skin and the feeling of cosines it gave me. I stepped outside in my oversized wellies and took a deep breath of fresh air as I crunched my way through the yellow and orange leaves littering the grass, my gaze lost on the soft light filtering through the trees’ bare branches.

 

It was so quiet out there, so still. Even overlooked by my neighbours’ houses just a few metres away, I felt like I was completely alone; like I was the last person left in the whole universe. It struck me how rare this is — how rare it is to find moments of absolute peace and stillness in a world of blaring horns and blazing streetlights, a world that never stops rushing from place to place and barely leaves enough time to breathe. As I stood there in the fading peach light, I felt the worries that had been plaguing me for the past few days melting away. I felt the tension leave my shoulders and my thoughts stop whirling around my head; I felt a deep happiness stirring in my chest, a sense of utter contentment as I stood, alone, watching the light melt away in my small garden in my corner of south London.

 

I felt properly alive for the first time in a while.

 

I learned something about myself in that moment: that I value solitude, the stillness and calm that only nature can bring. Sure, I love cities, the hustle and bustle of a living, breathing metropolis — but sometimes you need to stop. Sometimes you just need to stand among the trees and breathe in the fresh air and feel the leaves crackling underfoot, and simply exist for a little while. Simply live.

 

What else are we in this world for, but to live?

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I wrote this for one of my university modules (yes i am somehow now at university studying creative writing HOW DID THIS HAPPEN PLS)(i am still baby) and i was really proud of it, so i'm sharing it here!

Also smol reminder that if you like my writing, i self-published a 170-page novella earlier this year! Click here to find out more.

 > andrea