Life update post: EXAMS I'M SO SICK OF THEM EWWW (tho they did go well), homeschooling nostalgia, Pride and Prejudice appreciation, Eurovision songs I love + snippets from an old trashy WIP just because I can you know

Hey guys! So I just wanted to write a life-update post today, because there's a bunch of things I want to talk about and get off my chest and it might be mildly amusing for you guys to know what's going on in my life, yes? No? Maybe? Ok. Sooo anyway, long intros are for losers*, let's jump right in!

*Yeeeaah, I usually start all my posts with a mega-sized intro.... did I just call myself a loser? Did I not? We'll never know.

• I've already finished my human biology and English literature exams and done one maths exam, yaaaay!! ARGH, I'm so glad my GCSEs are almost OVER. I'm so done with revising, I want summer holidays now pls? Thank you. Last week I had three exams in the same week which was ew, but hey I got through it! I think most of my exams went quite well? I'm Very Pleased with how my second English literature exam went, I almost cried in sheer joy when I saw the "An Inspector Calls" question because I'd already done an assignment on that same question before?? I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK. So I literally just had to remember what I'd written and I think I really made myself justice, so! That's good. And I'd also done a past paper question on something similar to the Pride and Prejudice question I got in the exam, so I just had to adapt it a little, and it also went quite well. Oh, and now I think about it, the same thing happened for my "comparing two anthology poems" question in the first English literature paper!! I'd already done an assignment on it so I just had to adapt it a bit. Thinking about holy shit I was so so so lucky??? So so lucky??? So so so SO LUCKY??? I honestly couldn't have been any luckier??? It's sort of amazing? IT'S OFFICIAL! THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME! *cries*

• Something else that's amazing: my maths exam wasn't a disaster as expected!! Actually, it went... okay? Even... well? I managed to answer almost all the questions, and I'm pretty certain that I answered most of the questions correctly... even if I wasn't entirely sure how to answer a question I at least had a go and you get points for using the correct method, so... Considering I'm really bad at maths and I'd been focusing most of my revision on literature since it's more important that I get a good grade on that since that's what I (think I) want to go on to study at sixth form, my maths exam went really well! (I think. I'm never too sure with maths. I swear, I do the weirdest things while doing maths, I think I'm doing something right but then it turns out I'm doing something really strange?? I can't even.)

• I'm so annoyed I have to wait until the last week of August to get my results though. Like. ThE lAst wEeK oF auGuSt. That is literally three months away. Three months. WHY DO THIS TO ME. I'm hoping to get a 6 grade in literature (equivalent of a B), hopefully a 6 in human biology and at least a 5 in maths. I mean, I would be over the moon if I got a 7/8 grade in literature (A/A+) and a 6 in maths, but you know, when it comes to this sort of thing I like to keep my expectations low?? Like, I did my very best in my exams, if it's not enough for top grades then what can I do, I'm not going to tear my hair out over it. At the end of the day grades are just numbers on a piece of paper and I'm not going to let a piece of paper define my self-worth, so?? I know I'm smart. I'm not going to let anyone tell me that because I don't have 20 A* GCSEs I'm not good enough. Lots of people don't have any GCSEs and they go on to be successful, so?? My point here: Exams are stupid and I'm salty that I had to do them. THAT'S WHAT THIS MINI RANT IS ALL ABOUT. Anyway, 5/6 grades are what I need to get into Sixth Form, so that's what I'm hoping to get.

•  I still have a couple of maths exams to do over the next couple of weeks, so there's more revision on the horizon for me. *rolls eyes* My last exam is on my mum's birthday, which we're all very salty about in my family because it's a really significant birthday for her and we were planning to do something special to celebrate it, but we're not really going to be able to do anything too special because of my exam, URGH. I feel so sorry for her. Like seriously, there are 365 days in the year?? Why does my exam have to fall on my mum's birthday?? SERIOUSLY. :/ 

• But once I've finished my maths exams I literally never have to do maths again ever?? YAAAS. Actually, it's sort of bittersweet? I was thinking about it the other way, and... Once I've finished my exams, I'm never going to sit with my mum in the dining room and have her teach me maths again. I'm never going to have her teach me anything again (outside of maybe helping me with homework). I'm never going to be homeschooled again. And considering I've been homeschooled for about eight and a half years now (discounting the six months I went to school when I was eleven, a hot mess we'll go into another time), which is pretty much my whole school life, that's... that's hard to get my head around. I'm going to be going into Sixth Form in September and even if for some reason I really don't like it and decide to quit (which I honestly doubt), I'll probably enrol at a college or take a course somewhere, so one way or the other, I'm not going back to being homeschooled. I'm entering a new chapter of my life and as someone who isn't very keen on change... it's a little daunting. I mean, I'm excited for what the future will bring, but it's also a little daunting, I have to admit it. 

• Okay, sentimental moment over! One of the best parts of revising for my GCSEs was making memes with my revision books. If you follow my Instagram you've probably already seen these in my story:

(Sorry this one's a bit hard to see, it was a short video so I had to
 take a screenshot of it to be able to post it here)

No but seriously, I relate to Mr Darcy so much sometimes what even 

• I know this is shocking but I actually really enjoyed reading Pride and Prejudice for my exam??? I KNOW. ME, THE ANTI-CLASSICS KID. ENJOYED PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. WHAT. Who am I, what have I done with the real Andrea. I just have so much appreciation for Jane Austen?? I feel like she has this totally undeserved reputation for being really ladylike and conservative and writing books about delicate sighing ladies but actually it's the complete opposite. She actually makes fun of people who are like this? Jane Austen was witty and clever and really freaking good at understanding human behaviour, and MEAN. I'm serious. She was MEAN. The way she makes fun of the society she lived in and certain types of people. Anyway. Elizabeth, the main character, is witty and always logical and rational (even if she sometimes misjudges people, oops) and independent, and *gasp* she actually cares more for her own personal happiness than meeting other people's expectations of her or being rich, which was a pretty wild concept for a woman in the 1800s. I actually really liked Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship, how they sort of hated each other at first but then fell in love with each other because of their personalities, not their looks. They grow to really respect each other and enjoy each other's company and being witty and smart with each other, and they don't really care about attractiveness or whatever, and I'm like um yes?? Why can't YA books be like this?? 

Okay I've just realised that I've been talking about exam-related stuff this whole post, so... let's talk about something that has nothing to do with exams now, shall we? Like.... hmm.... I don't know.... I've just realised EXAMS HAVE BECOME MY WHOLE LIFE HALP

• A couple of months ago I finally decided to quit ballet for good. I'd been slowly losing my enjoyment of ballet over the last couple of years, but I always made myself keep going to lessons because I was hoping that my not liking ballet anymore was "just a phase" and that I'd start re-find my passion for it if I just kept doing it, but... I see now that's just not going to happen. I'd been doing ballet since I was eight and going to ballet lessons has always been a sort of constant in my life, so I guess that's why I was so hesitant to quit? But I just didn't enjoy the lessons anymore and it was sort of dumb to keep giving up my Saturdays for something I don't really want to do, plus it wasn't fair on my parents to have to pay for me to go somewhere I don't actually want to go to (and ballet lessons are NOT cheap where I'm from, believe me). I just didn't like the ballet lessons I was going to, my teacher was really strict and made us work really hard and do the same things over and over again, and while that might be awesome for someone who actually wants to go on to be a professional ballet dancer or go to an exclusive dance school and needs to be really good, as someone who just wants to dance as a hobby and for fun it was just making me hate dance. Also I really hated that I had to wear a leotard and pink ballet tights and a bun; my gender identity has been on the fritz lately (am I non-binary? Am I female? And I somewhere between the two? Will we ever know?) and having to wear stuff like that wasn't exactly helping things along. It was just making me feel annoyed and frustrated. Plus dancing should be a way of expressing yourself and interpreting your feelings through movement and music, and I'm sorry, but when I'm dressed in ballet clothes I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, rather than expressing who I really am - which is what dance is meant to feel like. So I quit. I mean, I don't want to give up dancing altogether! I still love moving in time to and interpreting music. I want to try different kinds of dance, maybe contemporary or street, something that gives me a bit more freedom than ballet. I've been really busy with revision lately so I haven't had the chance to, but I'm really looking forward to trying different dance classes and styles during the summer or in September.

• While we're on the subject of music, Eurovision was a few weeks ago! Aaaah I really really freaking love Eurovision, I watch it every year with my mum and we have this sort of tradition that my aunt in Spain connects with us on our WhatsApp group chat and we comment on the different numbers. Like every year I was really pissed off by the voting, how the heck did Israel win?? It was one of my least favourite numbers in the whole show?? EUROPE I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. I mean I didn't hate it, but I just thought that there were a load of other songs that were a lot better and deserved to win. I was so annoyed that the UK came so low on the leaderboard, it wasn't an amazing song or anything but it wasn't that bad? And why did Sweden get so many points (it was trash???) and why did Australia come last on the public vote, it's a really good song?? ARGH I DON'T KNOW. Well, I guess that's Eurovision for you: 30% music, 70% politics. I took a picture of my face watching the Eurovision voting results happening, and:

           

           I love how you can barely see my face but you can totally tell how I'm feeling: DONE WITH LIFE. I swear, every single year I watch the voting results and I'm like, "okay, that's it, I'm done with Eurovision, for real now." (I honestly can't remember the last year an actual good song won; maybe 2015 when Sweden won with that song about heroes? Was that even 2015 lmao. But that was the last time I actually LIKED the song that won. Every year since then, like??? No.) But then the next year when May comes along I give a big cheer and go "YES EUROVISION IS SOON YAAAY!!!" 

           Anyway I've been listening to some of the Eurovision songs lately, my absolute favourites are Australia and Germany, I'M OBSESSED. Okay admittedly I've listened to them so much by now that I'm starting to get a little tired of them... lol. But I still really like these:

       I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH AAHHHH IT'S SO INSPIRING AND I JUST LOVE IT OKAY, I couldn't get it out of my head for about three days straight but NEVER MIND I still love it

          I also really really love this one! It's so heartfelt and just such a nice song, ahh, me loves.

          Other songs I liked: Ireland, Norway if I remember correctly, Austria, the Netherlands, Spain (it was a little too sickly sweet for my tastes but I feel like I've gotta back up the country I was born in lol, and it was a good song), and I thought the UK was really good not gonna lie. Plus more that I can't remember right now because I have a memory like a leaky sieve. I'm not going to link up these songs because I'm too lazy, but look them up if you want! 

• The weather here in London has been absolutely crazy lately (YOU ALL KNEW THIS WAS COMING. YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER), one moment you're wearing a jacket and feeling a little chilly, then the next day you're going out in a short sleeves and sandals and sweating?? What even. I mean, Spring weather is always a bit like this but it's never this extreme? I feel like I'm going slightly crazy which all the temperature changes. And there was that whole business with snow in mid-March and then nearly 30 degrees in mid-April, WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE WEATHER PLS. These last couple of days it's been really hot and humid and we've had a few thunderstorms, I can actually hear thunder right now, looks like there's another storm on the way. I actually really like thunderstorms, so I'm not complaining... I love seeing lightning, it's so beautiful and deadly, it makes me feel inspired.

• I was just reading through an old writing project the other day, Team Supernova, that I wrote two years ago when I was fourteen i.e. a baby, and while most of it isn't worth the paper it's written on, I did find a few hidden gems in there? So why not share a few snippets from it here just to close this post off.

                                                                                                               

Stuart and Octavia stepped outside of the pantry and into the next room along.

He felt a chill up his spine the moment he did. Octavia’s eyes lit up, similar to the way Tobias’s had when he’d seen the computers. “An armoury,” she murmured.

The walls were lined with all sorts of guns and knives and other deadly-looking weapons. Stuart felt deeply uneasy. Why would there be all these weapons on board the ship?

Octavia was running a finger along one of the guns. “They all look quite old,” she said. “Like they haven’t been used in years.”

Stuart just looked at her.

“What?” she said sharply, turning to look at him and shining her torch in his face.

“Nothing. I just can’t decide what’s more disturbing, the fact that we’re in a room filled with objects that kill people, or the fact that you’re so ecstatic at being in one.”

“I’m not ecstatic,” she said. “I’m just interested.”

“Whatever. Can we please get out of here? This place gives me the creeps,” said Stuart, backing out of the room.

“Fine,” grumbled Octavia. “I guess I can come back later.” She stepped out of the room. 

....

Octavia no my darling child you shouldn't like weapons like that it's concerning 

                                                                                          

“This is a waste of time,” grumbled Octavia. “There’s nothing here.”

“There could be a secret compartment,” countered Stuart, running his hand along the wall. “Something where there could be information.” He tapped the wall in a few places, hoping for some sort of sign that there was something hidden in it.

He could feel Octavia’s gaze on the back of his neck, and he turned to glare at her. She was standing by the door, arms folded, eyebrows raised.

“Is that all you’re going to do?” he asked flatly. “Stand there and look sarcastic?”

“What else do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Help me, maybe?” He bent down, checking under the beds. There was nothing there.

He straightened up, and sighed. “Fine. You win. There’s nothing here. Let’s keep going.” 

They left, and entered the next room. There was nothing interesting there either.

The next dormitory along was a different story, however. Stuart bent down to look under the beds, and he saw something; a small black box underneath the bed closest to the door, near the wall. He reached out and pulled it towards him. “I’ve found something,” he said.

“What is it?” asked Octavia, crouching down next to him.

“A box,” said Stuart, running a finger along the box’s lid. It was extremely dusty, as though it hadn’t been touched in years.

“Wow, you’re a genius,” said Octavia, rolling her eyes. “What’s inside it?” 

....

Octavia tho. *heart-eyes emoji* Much sarcastic, so snark, very sass.  She's basically the only good thing about this entire writing project. All the other characters have the personality of a wooden spork, in my opinion. I remember really loving writing her scenes and I'm enjoying reading her scenes now. I swear she has all the good pieces of dialogue. She's so badass. I'm fairly certain I had a crush on her during the whole time I worked on this story not gonna lie

                                                                                                       

As they ate, they talked about their lives back home. Tobias told them about the city he lived in, filled with towering glass skyscrapers and all sorts of technological wonders, set around one of the many mountains in Blue. He lived in a fiftieth-floor apartment, and he was training to be a computer programmer, despite being only thirteen.

“I can’t even imagine what that’s like,” said Eline wonderingly. “I live in the middle of a forest. On Green, we live in small villages with a few different families forming communities. We all look out for each other, and we all understand what everyone else is feeling. Nobody’s ever sad or angry.”

“That sounds pretty cool,” said Stuart.

“That sounds pretty boring,” said Octavia. “I bet nothing interesting ever happens there.”

Eline’s eyes flashed. “I suppose you prefer a world where everyone hates each other and no-one’s happy?”

Octavia shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what I prefer. You’re born where you’re born. You don’t get to choose.”

“What’s it like on Red?” asked Stuart.

“Underground,” said Octavia briefly. “You can’t go on the surface without getting burnt to a crisp.” 

....

Some background info on the characters + the undeniable logic of Octavia I-Didn't-Actually-Deign-To-Give-Her-A-Last-Name

                                                                                     

Tobias stood up suddenly. “We’re going to figure it out,” he said. “We’re going to find a way to get out of here.”

“Damn straight, Mr Techie Genius,” said Octavia, pushing the knife back into its hiding place and standing up as well.

Tobias looked wearily at her. “My name is not Mr Techie Genius,” he said. “It’s Tobias. Could you please call me that?”

“Sure, whatever you say, Mr Techie Genius,” said Octavia, smirking as she went over to the computers.

Tobias shook his head. “I do not understand that girl,” he muttered as he followed her. 

                                                                                            

Octavia had crouched down next to the body and was examining it closely. Stuart watched her, wondering how she could possibly be so calm about everything.

After a moment she stood up. “Hey, I found a slug,” she said.

“A slug?” repeated Stuart incredulously. Nothing seemed more out of place here.

“Huh? Not the slimy type,” she said, rolling her eyes. “A bullet.” She held up a small piece of metal. Stuart saw a flash of optimism in her eyes. “The kid was shot.”

Stuart frowned at her. “And that’s good news?” He didn’t think anything could throw him anymore. He felt completely numb.

“Well, it’s not good news, but it tells us he or she didn’t die from lack of food or oxygen. Somebody shot them.”

“I still don’t see how that’s a good thing,” said Tobias, his voice quavering slightly. “What if that’s a part of all this? What if someone’s going to come and kill us too…?”

Octavia looked them all dead in the eye. “It’s a good thing, because I don’t know how to fight starvation. But if there’s one thing I’m certain of is that I know how to fight a guy with a gun.” 

....

YES OCTAVIA YOU BADASS QUEEN  Y E S S S S

                                                                                            

Octavia, Eline and Tobias were in the sofa room, talking and laughing.

“Wait, I’ve got another one,” Tobias was saying eagerly. “So, someone from Green, someone from Red and someone from Yellow go into a bar…”

“I think you should stick to computers,” said Octavia. “Your jokes really suck.”

“But they all go into a bar, right, and then…”

“I don’t get why so many jokes are set in bars,” commented Stuart, sitting down. “What’s wrong with a nice restaurant?”

.....

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH A NICE RESTAURANT" STUART YOU KILL ME

Tho I guess if I'm the one who actually wrote this... I kill myself? IDK that sounds really bad

                                                                                       

Aaaand the rest of it is total trash. Seriously. NOTHING HAPPENS. It's just the four main characters stuck on a spaceship trying to figure out wtf is going on and IT'S JUST SO BORING. I swear it's less than 80 pages but it draaaggggsss onnnnn foreveeerrrrrr. But I guess the fact that I see the faults with my previous work is a good thing? It means I'm growing as a writer and getting better and learning from my mistakes. My writing has evolved sooooo much over the past two years it's unreal.


And that brings us to the end of this post! I hope you all enjoyed reading about the state of my life right now. I just realised how longggg this post has gotten, omg, you're probably all sick of me by now. Now it's your turn to tell me stuff: have you done any exams lately? (If you did: I empathise. If you didn't: LUCKYYYY.) Have you read Pride and Prejudice, and if you did, what did you think? Did you watch Eurovision? If you did which were your favourite songs, and what do you think of my favourites? What's the weather been doing where you live? And did you like the snippets? (I know, I know, they're trash, what can I say.) Tell me everything in the comments!


See you in the next one,


> > > A n d r e a  < < <


*disintegrates into colourful pixels*